Ebb and Flow

Life is a series of cycles. Some days you kick major ass (or butt, or booty, what ever works for you). And then there are days like today.

Its cloudy, dark, and cold out today. Hovering just above freezing. Kind of windy. Overall, just a day that even if I really did have stuff to do outside, I'd probably think of some excuse to just stay inside. Besides, its Sunday!

So I have a pot of coffee brewed, and to save time on refills, I dumped some of it in my thermos!

If I really, REALLY had to get something done, I could get there. In fact, I did start on one project, got a good start for tomorrow, lets say.

The "gurus" say you can short circuit a bad day, and I have done it before. But I think its good to just kick back once in a while and just drift for a while. Maybe even take a nap!

A day like today is good time to pause and reflect too. See what is working, what needs some work, and what just needs to be dropped completely. I think I saw it on "The Secret", a phrase like "if it doesn't bring you joy, get rid of it", or something like that.

So for reflection, lets see where I'm at this year:

I worked about 5 months this year. While that doesn't seem like a lot, those 5 months were 7 days a week, 12 hours a day. Seems like a good day to screw around with some math!

5 months is about 150 days. So 150 (days) times 12 hours a day is ... 1800 hours. If I had a real job, that would be 40 hours a week... so 1800 / 40 = 45 weeks... There are 52 weeks in a year. And if we figure a couple weeks of vacations, and then all the holidays I worked through, hey, I think I don't feel so bad about taking a few weeks off. That's cool, because I was just starting to get a bit depressed about not working the last few weeks, between Secret Missions.

See? Reflecting and Analyzing can be useful!

What else is there. The Porsche. Some days I kind of think, like... well, Gee, I spent all my cash on this car. But I like it, I really do. I've worked on it a lot over the last few weeks, and now, its almost finished. Where I had a whole car load of parts, now I have just about a whole car, and a few parts. And its great fun to drive. Some days, if I'm wondering if I made a good choice in buying it, I'll go out and sit in it for a while. Then I feel better. If that doesn't work, I'll start it up and crank the stereo for a few minutes. Instant Happy :)

Then there is the whole "career" thing. People get all wrapped up in their identity. What we do for a living is essentially "who we are". So being between Missions, "who I am" loosely equals "guy who lives in trailer on farm with car that can go 150MPH except farm is on gravel road so car goes about 40MPH most of the time". Sometimes life on the farm is nice, relaxing, peaceful.

But I grew up on a farm. Farms are places that things get done. So just sitting around on a farm is kind of stressful in a way, because everywhere you look you see something that needs to be done. Grass can be mowed for days. Everywhere you turn, a dog or a cat or a llama needs to be petted, brushed, or fed. Seems like every door squeaks, or wont shut right, or cant be opened. I once walked around with a screwdriver all day and tightened things. The next day I walked around with a hammer.

Not sure if this is an universal truth or something, but I feel best about myself if I can say I did something at the end of the day. Like yesterday, we went to town, and I bought some stuff for the car, parts I needed, a bag to store tools in, and I got a wireless access point so my Mom's laptop can get on the internet. So yesterday was a good day. I have a list of what I did. I'm even writing down what I do every day, just so I can see that I'm doing something.

So, on a "rest day", you kind of pull back, relax, and try to "zen out". But its hard, because you know, somewhere, is something you need to do.

I think I hear the Porsche calling...

By Carlin Comm posted on 2010-10-24 14:06:19