Humor: Warm and Loving Insults

Some of the best quips and sly comments have been made about the qualities and peccadilloes of our neighbors. This week, someone sent me this marvelous collection, but they sent it anonymously - the return email address from Hotmail didn't have any name with it - so whoever it was, thank you!

"A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults." - Louis Nizer (1902 -1994)

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." 
- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." 
- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." 
- Irvin S. Cobb

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway

"He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul." - David Lloyd George

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." 
- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." 
- Jack E. Leonard

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." - James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." 
- Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." 
- Mae West

"She is a peacock in everything but beauty." - Oscar Wilde

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." 
- Oscar Wilde

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder 

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support, rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

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I've been getting a wonderful Newsletter from Dr Philip Humbert, a great coach and motivational speaker. It's one of the best newsletters I've found and one of the few I actually read. It has a warm, personal touch with lots of motivation, great business tips, quotes and even sly, cool humor! And each month he gives away a free report, tool or organizer. This month he's giving away a wonderful report called "The Four Steps to a World Class Life" and it's FREE! I thought you might enjoy it. Get your copy at: http://philiphumbert.com/Free.htm  

I think you'll like it.

Carlin

By Carlin Comm posted on 2009-05-24 17:57:07